Why you can write a better application essay than ChatGPT

Over the last year, AI-powered language models like ChatGPT have transformed the educational landscape. If you’re feeling pressure to write the perfect application essay, you might be wondering whether or not ChatGPT can help you accomplish that task. This is the first in a series of blog posts about if and how you should use AI-generated text in your application essay writing process.

I’m going to begin with the big picture. If you’re thinking about letting ChatGPT write your application essay—or if you’re worried about being upstaged by applicants who use AI to write their essays—this post is for you.

The bottom line: ChatGPT can’t write stand-out application essays

ChatGPT can do a lot: It can help you proofread an email, perfect a joke, summarize a book, or break down a complicated scientific topic. But one thing it can’t do well (at least right now) is write application essays—especially ones for highly competitive schools and programs.

Why? ChatGPT uses algorithms to recognize patterns in massive quantities of text data. This allows it to respond to questions and prompts—generating word sequences that make sense, sound intelligent, and follow grammatical and stylistic conventions. What makes ChatGPT work so well for some kinds of writing is exactly what makes it work so poorly for application essays: Its purpose is to make your personal statement (or college essay or statement of objectives) sound like all of the other ones it has processed.

But one of your top goals in writing an application essay is to stand out from the competition. You don’t want your essay to sound like all of the others. You don’t want it to say the same things other applicants are saying. You don’t want to tell stories that are perfectly predictable. For these reasons, you shouldn’t rely on ChatGPT to write your essay for you.

ChatGPT in action

I think the best way for me to illustrate the shortcomings of AI-generated is by doing an experiment with ChatGPT-4 (which you can access for free via Bing AI).

When I asked Bing to “write the opening paragraph of a personal statement for law school,” this is the response I got…

Hello, this is Bing. I can help you with writing the opening paragraph of a personal statement for law school. A personal statement is a written interview that highlights your writing ability, personality, and experience. It should have a narrative arc with a captivating introduction, body paragraphs that flow towards a conclusion, and a decisive conclusion that leaves a lasting impression. It should also be concise, simple, and brief, avoiding unnecessary words and complicated sentences. It should focus on a narrow topic that reflects your unique background and interest in law1. It should start with an attention-grabbing anecdote, fact, or dialogue that tells a story no one else can tell.

Here is an example of an opening paragraph of a personal statement for law school:

I was eight years old when I witnessed my father being arrested by the police. He was accused of embezzling money from his company, a charge he vehemently denied. As he was taken away in handcuffs, he looked at me with a mix of fear and sadness. He whispered, "Don't worry, son. I'll be back soon. The truth will come out." That was the last time I saw him for three years. During that time, I learned how the legal system can be unfair and unjust to those who lack the resources and representation to defend themselves. I also learned how the law can be a powerful tool to protect the innocent and uphold the rights of the oppressed. I decided then that I wanted to become a lawyer, to fight for justice and equality for all.

This paragraph introduces the main theme of the personal statement: the applicant’s interest in law and justice. It also hooks the reader’s attention with a dramatic and personal story that shows the applicant’s motivation and character. It sets the stage for the rest of the essay, where the applicant can explain how this experience shaped their academic and professional goals, as well as their values and beliefs.

I hope this example helps you with writing your own personal statement for law school. If you need more assistance, you can check out some more tips and resources here. Good luck! 😊

ChatGPT has come a long way since the early versions I first encountered last winter. Something I actually love about this response is the way that it explains the reasoning behind the text it has generated. The advice about what makes a good personal statement is pretty good (and it links to its sources, which is really helpful). But ChatGPT fails to successfully operationalize its advice in the sample paragraph it provides—namely, that it should tell a story no one else can tell.

The first part of the sample paragraph reads like a plot summary for a Law & Order episode. The whole scene strikes me as something I’ve seen before. And because it feels so over-the-top and contrived, I’d likely doubt the veracity of this story if I were on a selection committee. The stale content is only made worse by the cliché language (e.g., “the truth will come out,” “justice and equality for all”). Moreover, the second half of the paragraph fails my litmus test many times over. Everything after “During that time…” is so general that anyone could use it in their personal statement for law school.

So, what happened when I prompted Bing to “make this paragraph less cliché and introduce some unexpected details”? This…  

I had just finished my second-grade spelling test when I heard a loud knock on the door. Police officers were accompanying my neighbors out of the building. They were being deported. My father rushed to the window and saw them too. He turned pale and told me to pack a bag quickly. He said we had to leave before they came for us. He worked as an accountant for a local grocery store, and they claimed he had stolen thousands of dollars from their cash registers. We had to move out of our apartment and live with my aunt for a while. As he was taking me to the car, he was stopped by two more officers. They said they had a warrant for his arrest. They handcuffed him and pushed him into their vehicle. He hugged me tightly and said, "You're my smart boy, aren't you? You know I didn't do anything wrong. You have to be strong for me and your mom. I love you so much." That was the last time I saw him for three years. I missed him terribly every day. I wrote him letters, visited him in jail, and prayed for his release. I saw how the lawyers and judges treated him differently because he was an immigrant. I heard how the media portrayed him as a criminal without knowing the facts. I felt how powerless we were against the system that seemed to favor the rich and powerful.

While this version certainly adds more details, it only intensifies the melodrama and clichés that impair the original version, and it completely loses track of the fact that this is part of an application for law school. There are also details that just don’t make sense. Second-graders generally don’t take spelling tests at home, for example.

I thought maybe it would help to start afresh, being more directive about the content I wanted from the start, so I asked ChatGPT to “Write an opening paragraph for a personal statement for law school. Include a story about becoming interested in public interest law after volunteering in a women's shelter during college.” This is what I got…

I first became interested in public interest law when I volunteered at a women's shelter during my sophomore year of college. There, I witnessed the struggles and injustices that many women faced in their daily lives, such as domestic violence, sexual assault, and discrimination. I also learned about the legal services that the shelter provided to help them obtain protection orders, custody rights, and immigration relief. I was inspired by the dedication and compassion of the lawyers who worked tirelessly to advocate for their clients and uphold their dignity. I realized that I wanted to pursue a career in law that would allow me to use my skills and knowledge to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

It's hard for me to say whether this paragraph is better or worse than the previous two. On the one hand, it does away with the melodrama. The “writer” certainly comes across as more credible. That said, the writing is pretty darn vanilla. It’s pleasant, palatable, inoffensive. It goes down smoothly. But… nothing really stands out. In fact, I have trouble envisioning this applicant at all. And the clichés and generalizations persist. My verdict: This paragraph probably wouldn’t raise any red flags for readers, but it also wouldn’t set an applicant apart from the competition.

A few concluding thoughts

I recently spoke to a high school English teacher who predicted that, thanks to ChatGPT and other forms of artificial intelligence, “the college admissions essay will soon be extinct.” I politely disagreed and referred her to this Intelligencer article by college essay consultant Sanibel Chai. Chai’s experiences resonate with my own, and among the numerous excellent points she made were this one:

But ChatGPT failed hardest at the most important part of the college essay: self-reflection. Literary agent Jamie Carr of the Book Group describes great storytelling as something that makes “connections between things and ideas that are totally nonsensical — which is something only humans can do.” Can ChatGPT bring together disparate parts of your life and use a summer job to illuminate a fraught friendship? Can it link a favorite song to an identity crisis? So far, nope. Crucially, ChatGPT can’t do one major thing that all my clients can: have a random thought. “I’m not sure why I’m telling you this” is something I love to hear from students, because it means I’m about to go on a wild ride that only the teenage brain can offer. It’s frequently in these tangents about collecting cologne or not paying it forward at the Starbucks drive-thru that we discover the key to the essay. I often describe my main task as helping students turn over stones they didn’t know existed, or stones they assumed were off-limits. ChatGPT can’t tap into the unpredictable because it can only turn over the precise stones you tell it to — and if you’re issuing these orders, chances are you already know what’s under the stone.

I firmly believe that anyone who commits to the process of writing a strong application essay can produce something better than ChatGPT can generate. And I think it’s worth the effort. You’ll have a stronger application, and equally as important, you’ll feel ownership over what you’ve written.